Dawnslayer's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[: Fat Idols :]

A much needed message

While being overweight is a complication in and of itself, the culture surrounding "fat versus thin" needs to die. Not just go away somewhere, but DIE. First you get your stomach stapled, then you start getting Botox treatments, and next it's a nosejob, and it just goes on. And you will never be good enough; someone somewhere will always find something wrong with you.

As for celebrities, how could you forget Kirstie Alley? Her Jenny Craig campaign lasted a whole year. After losing 45 pounds out of her 75-pound goal, she looked like her normal self again - then at 75 pounds she bleached her hair, and even the little black dress couldn't slim her down after that. Just goes to show you, kids: even losing that weight won't make you society's idea of perfection!

And for constructive criticism, the style's the same, it's never going to change, yadda yadda...but quality is not the point of Neurotically Yours. The point is to send an important message to society in a way that will make people laugh their heads off at themselves for being so stupid, and you pulled that off quite effectively. Kudos.

[By The Moonlight]

Can't see

Gave you 3/5 for art and animation skill. But honestly, I couldn't see a thing that was going on with that color scheme. I understand it's dark, but everything blended in; I completely missed what happened at the end. (Being able to expand the movie might have helped a bit.) Also, the action cuts could have been a little more dynamic, getting in close rather than just watching from the sidelines.

Not bad at all, but it still needs work.

Marsume responds:

Hmm yeah. Sidelines arn't that exciting. Good point. :)

And I was afraid it was gunna be to dark :( Sorry.

[Zone-mus]

Has potential

-Preloaders: http://www.newgrounds.com/downloads/p reloaders/
(NG throws a space in the URL somewhere, so be sure to get rid of that.) Put this into the first frame of your movie, and then start from frame 2.

Art: crude, but improvement comes with practice. Check out the tutorials here: http://www.newgrounds.com/collection/
flashtutorials (again, watch out for the space).
Animation: amateur, but again, you're a beginner. Tutorials.
Style: not seeing one yet.
Sound: music was okay, but you needed some sound effects in there.
Scripting: type "stop();" (no quotes) into the script panel for the last frame. Add a replay button.

Overall: 2/5, 3/10. I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt because you seem to be an honest animator who wants to put in the necessary effort. Keep working on your skills.

[Fizz and Fazz:Hide & Seek]

Seeing improvement

The single storyline definitely helped. Random bomb gag was hilarious and well-placed; use it sparingly and it will always be funny. The "me first" argument was also entertaining. There could have a litle more of Fazz looking for Fizz, and the end of the game was a bit anti-climatic, but you ended it well with the TV bit and it was decently executed overall.

Technical criticism: the first few seconds were too small, and too close to the bottom of the screen. The action should be happening closer to the center. Voice acting still needs work, but part of that is practice, and expensive equipment is another part.

Still missing: background scenery, or even just a horizon line (remember - use layers); some color would be nice; and you might want to look around the Audio Portal for some fitting background music. (And aside from that giggle you used, you're doing great with the sound effects.).

It looks the next episode could be interesting. Remember what we've told you - learn from it. We're here to help you. In the meantime, this episode gets 3/5 and 5 starts from me. Keep working on it!

[Mastermind 4]

Thoroughly enjoyed this

I've watched this 4 or 5 times now, and it's still funny. The plot is an excellent offshoot from the game, loaded with classic Swain-style humor - best part was when Frenchy did himself in. And I appreciated the Star Trek reference as well.

Any plans to give Mastermind a rival? Could be an interesting storyline. (Or you can tell me to shut up; it's your character, after all.)

This is a series that deserves to rise above Newgrounds. 5 and 10 from me.

[villainous]

It was okay for a beginning

Art: decent.
Animation: choppy. Lacked dynamism; action shots should jump off the screen, if you get my meaning. Lip syncing can be scary, but try to work a little more on it.
Style: good. The noir effect works well for this.
Story: not bad - could use some development, though. (I sensed a sequel.)
Sound: music fit the tone of the movie. Poor acoustics on the voices, but that's to be expected without expensive equipment.

Overall: a good start, but leaves room for improvement. A 2 and 5 from me.

[Fizz and Fazz]

There's potential here

You went to the trouble of actually animating something, which is more than I can say for some people here. And I can definitely see some budding talent. What's needed here is more practice and foundation. Instead of doing short little bits, try making a storyboard for a full episode - a storyline that Fizz and Fazz can follow. (Example: Fizz and Fazz are hungry and go out to get a burger. It's supposed to be a one-minute drive. But throw some comedy in between, and you've got five minutes of hilarious hijinks.)

Be sure to take advantage of Flash's layering ability; backgrounds would help you a lot. Do some research on how to get better sound and recording.

Overall, not bad for your first submission. I give this a 2 and a 4. (And while we're on the subject, don't panhandle for fives; it makes you look bad.) Keep working on this; I see a lot of good things here, and with practice and effort you'll only get better.

[Yoyo vs FLLFFL]

Loved it

Never heard of RHG before today. Sounds like fun! Animation was good, the fight itself was awesome, and everything just clicked. Wouldn't mind doing this myself sometime...perhaps even against a rival such as yourself. Well done; a 5 and a 9 from me.

[my first flash..something]

Excellent first submission

Well-drawn, well-animated. Throw in some color, sound, and cleanup, and your skills can really go places. Also, see what kind of plotlines you can come up with; do a storyboard or something. This gets a 4 and 7 from me, and I look forward to seeing how you perform.

[Awesome's School]

Whatever - it's Pico Day

Art: shot.
Animation: it existed - I'll give points for that.
Story: Amusing, but not what I'd call quality.

Overall: mediocre...but not horrible.

Sidenote: Isn't Cassandra a guy?

Lalo responds:

Chill