I don't often log in anymore, but I felt compelled to add my two cents here.
As a fellow autistic, I totally feel what's behind the message; I especially love the chorus - perfect blend of music and lyrics. The first and second verses are fine lyrically, but in terms of melody and instruments I feel like I'm listening to a different song than the one I hear in the chorus. I'm not saying the different mood is wrong; it just feels too harsh and "plucky," if that gets my meaning across.
The rhythm of the bridge threw me off too; the general melody was fine, but I think it would have sounded better without the pauses in the odd-numbered lines. A short instrumental before the bridge, alike to the chorus in sound, wouldn't do any harm; and perhaps the final line could trail a bit longer to lead the song into its conclusion.
That aside, the only thing left to talk about would be the mastering, and I have no business critiquing that. In the meantime I've downloaded the track to my playlist, and if you do any further work on it I'd love to take a listen to the final product.
The verse-to-chorus contrast was intentional, to personify the difference in emotion. Sensory overload and anxiety in the verse, introspection in the chorus.
That said, I can totally see how the contrast may have been poorly executed, and I appreciate the input there.
Your enjoyment of the chorus also helps me figure out which direction to continue in, musically. That sort of sound actually comes most naturally to me, but I figured it was less interesting to listen to.
Looks like I had it backwards! I'll definitely be writing more music with that sound. :)
Thank you so much for the detailed review! It means a lot, especially from a mutually autistic user.
It's good, but I wouldn't classify it as industrial. It sounds more like indie.
Yeah I had no idea what to classify it as, but indie definitely sounds like a better fit. Thanks for the review, dude!
Would like to hear more. Keep at it.
At first I was all, "cool, but I'm not sure it really brings anything new" ...and then you threw in the vocals. That just elevated the song to a whole new level. Well done.
Glad you dug it man! ROCK ON!
Would love to hear a longer version of this with vocals. Have you considered collaborating with a singer on Newgrounds?
Might not be dubstep, but with some tweaking this could make a fantastic industrial/EBM track. It has that kind of melody and rhythm to it...I'll download what you've got now, but I really think you should put some more work into this. There's a lot of potential here that hasn't been realized yet.
The feedback here is kind of vague. What in your opinion needs tweaking?
Very nicely done; reminds me a bit of Hevia. I'll have to keep watch for more of your work.
Bundles of thanks for liking!
Just watched Hevia on youtube. Didn't know about it. I think as far as the traditional music is concerned, there might be similarities in music to the extent of monotonous-ness, as its like an anthem of a culture; a mindset of a nation. Anyways, thanks again :)
I have nothing to criticize about this song. A much appreciated addition to my personal playlist.
Good composition, well executed, but it did feel a little quiet at times. There was a part in middle where the guitar was drowned out; maybe you did that deliberately, I don't know. But overall I like it. Make more.
I dont know exactly what you mean, but i think the drowning of guitars here.... it was deliberately (00:52). Anyway thanks for the comment and your opinionnn !!!
It's good, but I can't help but feel there's something missing. I don't know what that something is, but the whole time I was listening, the song felt hollow. Some low, subtle vocals in the background might help to fill it out. There were also points (especially around 04:15) where it sounded really grainy, and that kind of disrupted the sound for me.
But overall, I like it. A good balance of sounds, a nice melody, and definitely has that dark industrial vibe. I'll have to check out some of your other work.
I hate to admit that I use compression as a crutch. Slowly but surely, my technical skill is catching up with my imagination.
I'm toying around with live instruments and clear vocal samples these days. Expect a creative shift soon.
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